Friday, August 5, 2011

Where's my mojo?

Week 6 of the 60 day challenge, day 40. Woww wee what a roller coaster this has been. I feel I'm done with it. I have too much going on in my life, the long days are catching up with me. This is all normal, it's part of the process. I won't quit, even though all I want is to rest & not burn out before TT. I'm still loving my practice I just wish that is all I could focus on. If everyday was a Sunday it would be great. I'm so ready for LA right now. I just want to get there and submerge myself in yoga and not worry about or do anything but yoga.

I've been talking with a good yoga friend who did the 60 last year. I know everyone if different but it's nice to hear other people experienced the same road blocks. Where as she was emotional at this point and just wanted to cry, I am angry and frustrated. I'm hating on things I shouldn't be letting bother me. I want to drop F bombs into my sentences on a regular basis, anger and foul language go hand in hand for me.

My cracks are starting to show, word has it I'm looking tired. Tuesday night the studio at Scarbs was rammed banged busy. One lovely spot right on the back row by the door was there for me. Just what I needed. Alas newbies arrived late and I jumped up and ushered them into my spot. I then matted down in the front row in the only available space. Bugger me, it ended up being right next to the studio director. This ended up being a good thing as it carried me through the class. I let my expectations go that I was gonna be lazy but I wasn't gonna kill myself either. We also had a brand new instructor who was lovely (despite a 3 hr half moon) and I wanted to make a good impression. Turned out I needed that class more than ever. I had my day off on Wednesday and didn't practice till Thursday night, technically 48 hours of rest to recharge me. 

Despite my reservations about doing evening classes and not being home at night I have done two weeks of nights. It's only short term. It's just something I need to do now, the extra hour in bed in the morning is just what I need right now. The morning classes lack energy, heat & numbers, it's draining. I feel bad that I should be spending more time at home as I'll be transatlantic for 9 weeks. On the other hand maybe taking that step back now will make the separation easier???!! (I wish) But I don't want to drift away completely. Oh the swings and roundabouts of life. 

Let's see what next week brings. Dialogue wise I'm doing blooming brilliant. Finished tree today, onto Toe Stand....

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