Friday, June 22, 2012

Update on the final post

Apologies all round if I alarmed some people yesterday. Mainly those who actually know me! I AM FINE & NOT ON MY WAY TO THE MENTAL WARD! My creative energies were on overload and I may have come across as an insane nut case but it's all good. I am in a fine & dandy happy place. Again things can be blown out of proportions easier in words. Venting!

Wednesday/Thursday was the Solstice so all sorts of manic emotions and energies were flying around top speed. The Solstice's main energy is balancing but for someone who is unbalanced it can send them in a spin. It effected me greater than ever because I was receiving my personal Soul Mentoring from Elizabeth Peru. It was explained (after my blog rant) I could be feeling between dimensions. Boy was I!!!! Tanty dummy spits galore. One bad comment & I ran for the hills throwing my toys out the pram as I went.

I still stand by my decision to stop writing in here. I found out a lot yesterday about myself that I knew deep down but didn't realize how much it impacted and how important certain elements are in my life plan. My mentoring report is very personal & resonated a lot to me but I won't share the nitty gritty here obviously! But here's a sprinkle.

Creativity is my life, I am a change maker & shaker, for me things will never stay the same for long. I am told I love the public arena and shine in it...oh that's why my soul is drawn to bearing itself to the world in here? My strong points are "I am very good at seeing the potential in others and help them be aware of ways to achieve their goals." (That is why I am a teacher, ego & Soul got a little mixed up yesterday!!!) However with my crippling self doubt I have difficulties applying this to my own life. All makes sense to me. Yesterday I doubted myself so much as a writer & a teacher I was making crazy decisions without listening to my Self, MY inner voice, it was my strong mind running free, shouting so loud I literally could not hear ME.

Knowing this year is the year to change this is why blogging has come to an end for now. I'll leave the door open. I won't delete this as somewhere out there someone might find a useful nugget in here. I've worked hard to get my blog out there & it's interesting to see all the parts of the world I'm reaching out to so it would be a shame to hit the button & end it's life. 

I was mad yesterday, upset by someone I don't even know, someone who didn't even have a profile or a name. Well done my friend you stole my peace but I'm snatching it right back off you with both hands. I didn't want to leave on a sour note so I will continue to write, privately for now, maybe I'll get that book started I've been planning? Or you never know I may pop back up under a different guise....

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Final Post

I am saddened to be writing this but I've decided to put my writing on hold for a while. I'm signing off and shutting down this blog. I set it up to start with as a totally subjective journal of my own personal thoughts. Recently I have been feeling the strain to write from the heart, often posting rash thoughts without thinking it through. My posts have been more ego driven & about letting of steam, something that should be done in private not for the world to read. It's not the happy outlet it once was for me. I might be having a big dummy spit over this but hey all things must come to an end at some point. I think writing in here has run it's course for the time being. 

I know by putting myself out there on the www I'm opening myself up to criticism, not everyone will like what they read, I may not like what I am reading in the comments. Ego at it's best. I have received some feedback that has made me aware I am not in a good place right now.

I am truly sorry that the event in a recent post happened. (I am so ashamed of it now I have removed said post.) It involved me letting my ego take over when I was teaching. Life is a learning curve. I have drawn greatly from this and now realize how wrong I was in my actions. Even wronger to publish my out of orderness to the world. I'm grateful no long term damage has been done and the person involved is totally clueless to what I did. They were not ready to face their fears & it was NOT MY PLACE to decide they needed a push. I should do my job, just teach the class by the book. Ego is a tough rock to crack, to fully understand the difference between ego & true loving intentions is frigging hard at times. 

A quote from my Guru Rajashree Choudhury has brought this home to me:

“This is how I always look into it - I teach from the heart. I want people to really experience that because then you are very much true to yourself, because then you can never can betray your heart…The heart and mind have a connection together to make a conscious choice; then you are not blaming anybody.

I do give a very tough class physically. I like people to work with their body more… I don’t challenge people’s ego and fear. Ego and fear they should find inside themselves and recognize that - I call this finding your strength and finding your weakness . I don’t want to bring this to people before they find it for themselves. A person can change when they want to change; a person can find these things when they know they have them – if it is their problem.

Yoga helps you go to the core of sensitivity, open up the consciousness, and waking up that (thought process) ... really to me means self realization.”

Hence I am stepping away from this blog to get myself sorted out mentally, physically & spiritually. It's time to step out of the public arena. Maybe this whole blog was here to boost my ego, 'look at me, read about all the great things I do (or not), make me feel awesome about myself by showering me wonderful comments, fuel my ego, make me feel important.' I'm obviously lacking something in the 'real world' if I'm looking for attention from perfect strangers! Time to get offline & start getting real...

Thank you to those who have followed & read posts. I wish you all health & happiness. 


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

I want to be a part of it...

....New York, New York!!! 

NYC is on my bucket list for sure. I've not yet ventured to the East coast of the States and there are so many reasons to and so many friends to visit. *Waves at Johanna & Ilana* It's just so far away...

Tomorrow is the Summer Solstice. To mark the occasion there is a MASSIVE yoga event happening in Times Square. Bikram's wife Rajashree is teaching a Bikram class at 12:30pm. Sounds like the heat in NYC tomorrow will be sticky so perfect conditions for some out door Bikraming. I can't say how much I'd love to take this class. It'll be awesome, and it's free. Well jell I tell you. If you are in NYC do not miss this. Raj is an amazing teacher and to practice out doors with hundreds, possibly thousands of people would be mind blowing.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Congratulations Teachers!

Can you believe another BYTT has just come to an end? Well it did on Saturday. 400+ new teachers received their certificates - licenses to kill!! My dear friend Bahar graduated along side the three Bikram Yoga Perth students - Mia, Jason & Helen. 

Big extra congrats to Jason who won the DIALOGUE PRIZE!!!! How exciting. This is a very prestigious award that goes to the person who has the best dialogue out of all the trainees. His mentors Jen & Adam will be most proud I'm sure. I'm stoked the prize is not only coming home to Australia but to Perth!!! We rock don't we us Perth teachers tee hee heee?!! It's a well deserved prize for working hard, doing your homework & generally being a nice all round person to boot. It's great publicity for WA Bikram Yoga too - hopefully some senior teachers might feel a pull to our coasts to see what a buzz Bikram is having here. 

These four new teachers will be coming home to Perth very soon. I am very looking forward to taking your classes. I love a good dialogue class I do!

All the best to everyone in the Spring 12 class, your journey is only just starting, go fourth, teach & most importantly have fun!!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Soul Message from Elizabeth Peru

I've not introduced you properly to 'soul mentor' Elizabeth Peru in full. I will, soon. After my last post I have been left feeling bad and in a fix. It's done, I realise my bad and I must move on. Elizabeth posts daily 'Soul Messages' on her Facebook page. Here is todays:

"SOUL MESSAGE NEXT 24 HOURS: PUTTING LOVE INTO OLD HURTS - Opening the HEART & letting unconditional love flow out & through YOU. You may feel like hugging people, yourself, teddy's & trees. Go on, it's good for you & have a CRY too if you need! You may also feel that no one understands your true loving intentions. Use these feelings to take you to a place of surrender to the past. You are what you choose to be NOW. If you want love, you must FIRST love YOU. It's a HEALING DAY xx" Elizabeth Peru Copyright © Deltawaves 2012 (Please SHARE in full with credit given, thanks)"
 How very true to how I'm feeling today. I have true loving intentions! (Sorry Mark I wrote you an essay length comment reply before reading this, it's in the planets today that I'm feeling defensive & emotional!) As for crying well we all know I'm having a blockage there. More on that in another post! 

Please check out Elizabeth's webpage and 'like' her FB if you'd like to learn more.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Confessions of a busy person

Okay I know I keep banging on how busy I am. Why doesn't she just stop I here you say. I'm sitting here writing aren't I? A little time out for myself. It is revolting outside. High speed winds, rain and a chilling 19 degrees C. I'm teaching a back to back double this arvo. Might be busy as it's definitely not beach weather.

I'm feeling well rested this weekend. I had a lovely chilled day off yesterday which involved a trip to the North Perth studio for a change of scenery and a good ass whopping from Joe. I needed it, my practice has suffered a lot of late, three a week is too little for me. With the crazy planetary activity going on I have literally had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I grind and scowl through Half Moon, by Eagle the pain in my shoulder blades is horrific. Good pain though, after all Eagle does 'open up' the shoulders. Yesterday was hard. I needed the corrections I was given so bad I was very grateful. 

It was nice to share my practice with my fellow TT buddy Kana too. Her mad giggling fit in Camel was awesome, set me off. I don't recommend laughing whilst upside down, it's kind of hard to breathe but at least it relaxed my face! Good fun, followed by a quick sushi lunch before we all headed off for our own afternoon activities.

As usual due to my insane schedule my house work has suffered. This week I shall share what a state my bathroom is in. Back in the days of OCD Kat this was scrubbed within an inch of it's life every week without fail. Living on a farm dust and sand get everywhere very quickly so it is hard to keep o top of it. Now it's more like two weeks, gross I know. It's just not right the room where you get yourself clean be allowed to get dirty? Here is it.... I have cleaned it since these photos it's shiny and the grout on the tiles had at least 20 minutes of personal attention! 


Dirt, dust, hair on the floor
Grimy sink

The Man's clothes pile

The final picture is the bane of my life. The Man does not put his clothes away, never has, probably never will. His father is the same. When we upgraded the bed to Super King Size there is no longer enough room down his side of the bed to keep this pile. It did get put away but there is just not enough storage space for all his crap. He's a hoarder, he has so many clothes, 100's of t shirt he can never possibly wear, one for each day of the year. But he will not throw anything out. I've tried, I've snook a lot of stuff out to the charity bins but that is soon replaced. All the clothes he wears and washes weekly live in this pile. It's just easier to access apparently. 

Anyway the pile moved to the foot of the bed to the point I could not get in my drawers and I had to climb over it to get out the room. Not good. So I bulldozered it to the lounge and onto the day bed. Here it is and here it has stayed. Clothes come off the line or the drier and onto here. I will not and have not the time to re house this mess into drawers that are full anyway. 

Lucky we do not have people over as it's a disgrace. They wouldn't have any where to sit anyway!! I can not be arsed with it, not my mess, I have more respect for my clothes than to treat them like this. I can lay on my sofa with my back to it all!!

There we go people. The life of a busy person who yes, needs a cleaner!


Venus Effects

I touched briefly on the Venus Transit that happened last week. I honestly don't know a lot about it in depth. I watched a great webinar by Elizabeth Peru who explained how it effects us on a personal energy level. It's funny not knowing a lot, going about your daily shiz, then reading about the Venus thing and having an 'yes that's me moment.' I know, I know, nearly everything we read about can be related somehow back to our lives. I am starting to believe a lot more about the 'universal energy' and how the planets effect us. 

Being more authentic to our souls is something I am drawn to from the Venus Transit. I've mentioned before my appetite and food choices have changed dramatically of late. Even today I could only manage three pieces of my six pack of sushi at lunch. Good job my fellow instructor friend was having the opposite problem and couldn't get enough food in. My friend's reassured me that I just don't need as much food as I used to think I did. I now know when I'm satisfied. 

Another thing that has changed is my clothing choice. I do try and dress for the occasion, look nice & turned out. However, now more than ever comfort reins over fashion. With time being short & getting ready for work at the studio it's easier to shove on something easy. My heels are tucked away in the back of my wardrobe. 

After being so frugal last year, making do with the winter clothes from the previous year I have now decided to over haul my 'work wardrobe.' It's time to clear out and make room. I certainly did just that. Charity bagged everything I'd not worn for a year or two or had been eaten by the 'fabric softener' incident. I bought coat hangers and new garment bags to keep everything nice and dust free. There is something very satisfying about having a clear out isn't there?

A good friend of mine has started working at a very high end high street clothes shop. I had never set foot in this shop until she started working there. The first time I called by I looked over all the racks very impressed by the style and choice. The quality was great, well made, thick fabric, nice a tailoring & made in Australia. Until I read the price tag. Way, way more than I ever spend on a single item of clothing. Okay, I do invest in decent stuff for day to day and yoga but we are talking $200 + for office pants and even more for a dress. The t shirts were $80. Not my territory. 

Three months on since my first visit I now own two dresses and two t shirts from there. Only because they have the most amazing sales! 50% off brings it down to the upper most I'd pay for clothes at full price. Of course me being the great justifying person I am, I convinced myself that these dresses are for the office and the evening. Summer and winter wear when layered up and down. I will wear them at least once a week!

The style of the dresses is very me but not me of late. I've returned to my old favourite style of sleek pencil skirts. They are similar in style I know but I've been known to buy the same garment in all the colours. The neckline is very Victoria Beckham and extremely flattering. One dress might not last very long season wise as it has a peplum detail (as rocked by the Duchess of Cambridge last weekend) but who cares, I'll probably keep wearing it in years to come anyway! 

I'm very happy with my new purchases, it'll be nice to get out of the baggy tunic tops & sloppy jumpers I've been hiding behind for a while. Hiding yes, time for 'me' to get back out there. I even had my hair tidied up and the fringe I was test driving cut back in. I feel more polished again and less slap dash thrown together with crap apres yoga hair. I'm feeling less 'can't be bothered' about lots of things.

Bringing this back to Venus, it's no surprise I've been drawn to feminine, classic styles is it? After all women are from Venus right....

Dress #1
Tidy wardrobe, everything in garment bags

Dress #2

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Chakra Balancing

It's been a crazy few weeks. May was a bonkers month. Twists, turns, ups and downs. This is obvious as my writing here has been very neglected. I've been wanting to write, I have lists & lists of potential posts ready but just haven't had chance, time or energy to get them posted. 

Funnily enough I'd booked myself in early for a Chakra balancing treatment at Bodhi J. I was feeling frazzled. Emotionally I'd been on a roller coaster. Self inflicted I know! I was so ready for this treatment. No surprise which of my energy points were out; root, sacral & throat. First two are definitely down to my hormones getting back to their natural state after years of being pumped with false ones. Throat, well, I've not been speaking up for myself, sugar coating and even yes small white lies have been told to cover up my real feelings or thoughts. My aura was still glowing with genuine intention, my heart is in the right place. 

I certainly felt more centered after wards but totally knackered. All I could do was get myself home and collapse! I think this must be usual, after all suddenly having your personal energy tapped into, moved and adjusted it is going to be draining. 

A couple of weeks on I'm feeling good. Things feel more settled. It may be because of the Venus Transit that came through this week. All the recent craziness has come to a head and dispersed. Truths are out, problems have been recognised but solutions still need to be put in place. 

Bon Voyage dear friend

May saw me waving goodbye to my dear friend and fellow Fall 11 TT buddy Jasmine. Her husbands job in the Singapore Air Force required them to leave Australia and move to France. 

I was so shocked, gutted and sad when Jas told me she was leaving. I knew it would happen at some point, it's a huge part of being a forces wife but not so soon. We shared so much together and supported each other pre & post TT. A true, solid friendship has been formed. I loved taking Jas's class, watching her grow & flourish into the most amazing, caring and devoted teacher. Her classes had me smiling, even in Full Locust! She always had sweet but constructive feedback for my classes. "Stay true to yourself," being my favorite. It is so easy to be 'molded' or 'influenced' into being something your not.

We got to share a private goodbye together after one of my Saturday morning classes over full English breakfast in Joondalup. I know our paths will cross at some point in the future. After all France is a mere short hop on Easy Jet from the UK. We might even be able to coordinate a Lux Yoga retreat in as well ;-)

Friends :-)

Bali Adventures

Seven years ago when I was half way through my round the world year long adventure I decided I needed a holiday. It was a few months after the 2004 Boxing Day Tsunami in South East Asia. My original plans had me going to the Malaysian island of Lankawi. Sadly this island had suffered some damage from the wave so I headed for Borneo instead. I wasn’t due in Singapore to fly to Sydney for another month, extra time to be spent in Asia. Where else to go, where else to see. Bali!

Okay I put my hands up I wasn’t too sure about Bali. I’d heard it was a beautiful island with culture, beaches, cheap food and market shopping. It was a little while after the first bomb attack in Kuta and six months before the second.  I was scared of another attack. My travel companion, the stubborn mule, said to suck it up & the country needed our dollars.

I spent three whole weeks drinking Bintang, lounging by an awesome pool, eating great local cuisine & befriending a local bar owner who drove us round the island on three day tour. I wasn’t a fan of the crazy street life. Constantly being harassed “braid your hair, manicure, massage okay!” You couldn’t walk down the streets without being pulled, pushed and often dragged into shops. Inside the safe compound of The Oasis resort was bliss.

Hence, probably why I never returned for seven years when it’s the holiday spot of choice for Perth residents, a mere 3.5 hour flight away on a cheap ass flight.

The opportunity arose this May for a trip back to the Island. I wasn’t too keen on this trip as we were headed back to Kuta. I’d promised myself next time I go to Bali I’d return to Ubud, much more my scene, yoga mecca in the mountains. I was being a brat. This trip was fully organised and paid for me. I just had to book the flights & turn up. The Man & I were to be sharing five days in a private villa with 20 of ‘his’ relatives.  Now can you see my double apprehension!?!

Long story short it was fine. Everyone had their own agenda’s & did their own thing. Yes there were clashes but as fate (or me being a stubborn mule) would have it everything worked out how I’d planned. Literally the five days we were there I had a solid tight agenda.  People joined me on my yoga/spa trip, we had a fun evening out at Bubba Gump, we trawled the shops of down town Kuta, I practiced Bikram & got to spend five whole hours in Ubud!

The first day was spent shopping or well walking into Kuta. I’m glad I did because it has changed a lot. There has been a lock down on hassling tourists. I actually found myself cheerfully returning “good mornings” & “g’day mate, howzit gawing.” “No thank you, not today” actually worked. Unless you actually did return the next day, then you'd have to find a new excuse to use.

I had a wonderful Auyervidic spa treatment at the Prana Spa in Seminyak that involved a full body massage, a foot spa and warm oil being dripped over my third eye. I think I transcended to another universe. At the half way point I was served the most amazing iced peppermint tea I've ever tasted. To fully get in the mood, myself & the mother out-law took a Sivanada yoga class before hand at the Prana yoga room. Not heated but boy were we dripping by the end. I got a great adjustment in a variation of Spinal Twist. The local instructor who trained in Kerla had great energy and was easy to follow. It was nice to try another form of yoga. I really felt it in my shoulders & upper arms the next day.

We did get some alone time away from the ‘family.’ Last time I was In Bali I visited the Elephant Safari Park in Taro. A sanctuary for rescued elephants nestled in the rain forest. We did the night safari tour this time which involved a tour of the park in the late afternoon with patting and feeding the elephants. So much fun being up close with such HUGE mammals. We took a twilight ride around the forest before watching a short ‘elephant show’ finishing with an awesome dinner under the stars. Well worth the hour and a half drive. I didn’t really look into it enough but there is a great lodge on the park now which would have been amazing to stay at.  Complete with ‘elephant chauffeur service’ where an elephant picks you up from your room at the specially designed gate on the raised veranda and rides you down to dinner! Next time!

Five days was nice but I actually wouldn’t have minded staying longer! We did however leave just as most of our villa companions were getting flu or Bali belly. I did return home and come down with a  stinking head cold, always happens when I actually chill out & let down my defenses. Definitely will go straight up to Ubud next trip – whole post dedicated to this coming soon…..   

Friday, June 1, 2012


I've been slack with my postings of late. Again I am hitting the ground running. Since I got back from Bali it has been full steam ahead. In order to stay in optimum shape and gain as much energy as I can I've been really good at clean eating. Low sugar is going really well. I don't even think about chocolate now. I'm still trying hard with the Paleo diet, especially in the mornings. Evening meals are another story where I am wolfing down pasta and rice as it's quick & easy or it has been already made for me on my late return home.

I've always laughed at those people (Angelina Jolie) who say they are too busy to eat or 'don't feel hungry.' How!! What!! Why!! Are you mad?!! I am a permanently hungry person, I love food. I used to be kinda of obsessed with it to the point I'd be eating breakfast & planning what I was going to eat for lunch or morning tea. I took this as me, normal. However, since I've stopped pumping my body with estrogen & progestin, three months on I actually have a handle on my appetite. I know what full is again (yes I used to eat to the point of physical sickness as I had no idea what full was, gluteny at its best?) 

Overall I feel much better my body is back to it's normal state without any artificial influences. It's been well over 12 years since this last happened. When I feel hungry I eat. If I don't, then I don't. Some days a few pieces of grilled haloumi & a handful of cashews keeps me full for hours. Crazy I know. On hectic Saturdays when I'm running about, teaching or practicing I can go for hours now on just a protein fix breakfast. My gawd I have turned into one of those Angie types, too busy to notice I haven't eaten - mainly because I am not hungry. If I was I would eat!

After practicing the 5:45am the other morning I prepared this breakfast at work. Smoked salmon, a slightly over ripe avo, slightly over grilled haloumi & 8 cashews that weren't pictured. Seems like an odd combo but it worked really well. Total fullness for hours!