The reason this post is called 'Small Shorts' is because for the first time yesterday I practiced in small shorts, really small shorts, butt cheek skimming shorts. (Mika Lucia style to be precise) This is another hurdle this fantastic yoga has got me to overcome.
It took me nearly four months of practicing to get out of capri pants but with the Australian summer looming it forced me to change my yoga wardrobe. Like most women out there I have some body issues, especially my legs. The size, shape and length of them are fine it's the skin covering them!!! I have keratosis pilaris which is a common skin condition in which a protein in the skin called keratin forms hard plugs within hair follicles. The result lovely angry red bumps all over my thighs. It doesn't hurt, sometimes gets irritated, it's just there. I have tried every treatment in the book and spent a lot of money trying to expel this. So far nothing has worked. Apart from when I burnt my legs to a crisp in Thailand but this is something I don't wish to repeat. Fake tan covers it but there is little point me doing this as it would sweat off quick time in the studio. I also have a lot of scars which aren't that noticeable but I know they are there. Hence I was reluctant to let these shocking thighs out in public.
But I did. Mainly because no one cares in the Bikram studio, it doesn't matter, you are their for yourself not to think 'urrg look at her scabby thighs.' Plus it's blooming hot in there, the less clothes the better. I started with the longer mid thigh length Lulu Groove shorts which I love, good coverage of the thighs, butt and belly. However we had a fresh shipment of Mika in at the weekend and Janette suggested I try the Lucia's. Wow they are small. They have tied sides so I attempted to make them longer by letting the strings out but pretty much after Eagle they had ridden up to where they were designed to be. I admit, I did faff, I did try pulling them back down but they still rode up. A quick whisper from Jo that "The shorts look good" decided it, I left them alone. Whole thigh out to show the world. They were comfortable and very light weight (& halfthe price of Lulu). Once I let go of their size I breezed through the class and focused on what I was supposed to be doing.
It's one of the most confronting things in Bikram practice to face yourself in the mirror. Even fully clothed some people may find this hard. To face yourself half naked with every lump, bump, self proclaimed flaw on show and to a room of often twenty or more people is a recipe for a freak out. No one cares what you look like, you're in their to improve your health not to judge others. The smaller, lighter clothes you have on the more you and the instructor can see how well you're doing in the postures. I will make sure I keep wearing these short to build my confidence in them and maybe buy them some friends in the future. (Stock piling yoga clothes for TT has started, the less time I spend on laundry = more revising dialogue, well that's the theory!)