What I have learned from training so far...

Every teacher I spoke to before training said nothing will prepare you for training. Now I understand how hard it is to describe the experience. You really just need to go to understand it. Even my notebooks would make no sense to anyone reading them who hasn’t been through the course. (even though they aren’t allowed to read them….copyright issues again!)

Now I do understand why my mentor pushed me to not quit the 60 day challenge when I was so broken down, tired and strung out. It made Training feel like a breeze in comparison. Clever lady. I had nothing to worry about but yoga & dialogue. No housework, husband, animals, driving or full time work to deal with.

I’m sure it will take a lot longer than a few days to absorb what I’ve just been through. Even now though I can see a change in me. In the airport I was super chilled out. I wasn’t worried about being seated at the gate hours & hours early. Lining up to board I stepped aside and helped usher a family with small children ahead of me as they’d miss their early call to board. Patience & understanding at work.

I had chance to do my Karma Yoga on my way home too. I got a great seat on the plane at the back, aisle seat, baggage space, next to a pleasant, chatty person. Just before take off the Stewardess approached me and asked if I minded moving. A fellow female passenger had requested that she be seated by another lady. So they picked me. Hmmm did I look normal?? Of course I agreed, giving up my good seat to help someone else is a good thing to do. I know some women are uncomfortable sitting by a strange man for 17 hours, especially on a night flight. Turned out the man didn’t want to switch so I stayed put. (I ended up talking about the Mahabharata with my seat mate, who would have thunk it I’ve learned a new conversation topic, maybe with Indians only though!)

Learning not to judge is a new skill I’ve required. You never know what’s going on with someone so don’t start getting on their case without knowing the details. You may never know the details so tread carefully. Don’t poke the crazy! There is a fine line though in class between being lazy and genuinely struggling. Once I get to know my future regular students I’ve been told you can gauge this. If someone always rests their hands of their head between half moon and backbend or can never keep their arms out for the whole of awkward it’s time to ask why. A recurring pattern of bad habits may well be an injury or just the dreaded laziness. The latter will require gentle handling to encourage them they can keep their arms in place! Another skill, don’t be a bitch. A firm hand and encouragement go a long way rather than yelling and criticising.

Being sympathetic to others needs is one I’m still working on. I'm usually quick to be down on people who are down. I see it as a waste of energy/opportunity. I am learning not to be up in people’s faces all the time when I think they need cheering up. Give others their space when needed and stay out of drama that doesn’t concern me.

Finally saving a little energy for myself. In order to serve others better I must learn not to go around dishing out 100% energy in everything I do or I’ll crash. Then I won’t be any use to anyone. Not everything we do has to be totally selfless. Keep 10% back for me.

This is just the beginning I'm sure we will never stop learning and discovering from this. 

Week 3

I dare not say this but I will this week the ‘heating malfunction’ in the yoga room seem to be fixed. Obviously they had to cook our brains out to begin with to make us remember how tough this yoga is. Most of us will have forgotten how hard it is to struggle through a class. We need to be connected back with this feeling in order to show compassion for our future students.

It was positively breezy down in my neighbourhood area of the yoga room. It was nice. I made it through at least four classes without drinking and didn’t use my ice. No knees were taken & I can say I’m nearly doing my usual practice. I’m starting to feel stronger despite being totally wacked and resembling a sleep walker any time I’m not in the yoga room.

In the yoga room I refer to my ‘neighbourhood’ as the area I am spending a lot of time in. We had our assigned lines this week so we have to practice on a different line each day & move around the room. However, where on that line is up to you. I have been clinging to a certain ‘area’ and I’m not alone. I have a nice group of mat mates around me which is comforting in such horrific conditions. I did stray a few times to ‘the other side’ but soon came back. We have nice synergy in my hood & if your gonna have someone’s toes up your nose why not it be someone you know.

This week has been a bit weird for me. I am totally exhausted from the late night anatomy lectures, posture clinics and yoga. I hang my head in shame to say I fell asleep a few times during lecture. Dr P is amazing, entertaining & 98% chimp. I wanted to listen and be present but I’m useless at staying awake if I’m tired. I’ve realised all those International flights I’ve taken have left me a master in napping whilst sitting in a confined, hard, uncomfortable chair.

I am really focusing on trying to learn the rest of the dialogue I didn’t know before I came. My way of learning is to isolate. My roomie has been out practicing one on one with another friend which gave me the perfect excuse to stay home and do my thing alone. Which is great. I have ploughed on and learned three more postures this week. But now I need to be out there with people practicing. Everywhere you go there are groups of people doing dialogue & busting out postures. It’s not hard to gate crash a dialogue party. I really feel I need to be looking at bodies and learning how to ‘teach’ those bodies instead of just rattling out dialogue whilst staring blankly at them.

Ironic me saying that really as my feedback from posture clinics has been great. Friday night I was told I was teaching already and along with a couple of other trainees our delivery is more like what is expected in week 6/7 rather than week three. But…. The postures I delivered this week I have been presenting since July. I am confident with them and have practiced these at home with bodies. I even blasted out Standing bow at 11:40pm on Friday night without hesitation despite being half asleep because I knew it.

For the floor series I haven’t even put words to bodies yet and these are the postures I have finding the hardest to get down. I am also putting pressure on myself to keep up the high standard I have set. Then again, if I stumble it will show I’m only human. The best advice we have received this week is not to try and be perfect, aim to be precise. Stay out of our own heads it’s a dangerous neighbourhood!

All in all I’m staying as present as I can. One day, one class, one hour at a time. Emotionally I’m fine. I have detached as much as possible from the outside world & be submerged in the ‘process.’ I have The Man to thank a lot for not letting me become a clingy dependent partner before I left. We have had plenty of practice at me being overseas for periods of time and are comfortable with being away from each other. It’s only another seven weeks. That’s nothing, especially if we end up spending the next forty years together! I can spend everyday with him when I get back, I only get to do Teacher Training ONCE & that time in NOW.

I have come to the conclusion that being 100% happy with myself and the direction I am taking is helping me stay strong here. To quote Paul and Jaylee Balch, “you can’t rely on someone else to make you happy as the moment that person leaves they take your happiness with them. You are responsible for your own happiness.” 

Trader Joe's = yummy ready packed treats

Saturday lunch car boot picnic outside the Laundromat!

On our way to the beach, Sunday freedom!

End of week 1

Every instructor that has gone through training says the same thing. You cannot describe it. The daily schedule is very structured. Two yoga classes a day, a mid morning lecture and an evening lecture or posture clinic or infamous movie. Even in the five days we have been here I have fallen into step. I love this. Just be here at this time, that time. Even when you are on time the schedule always runs late. We work on Indian time here! Also expect the unexpected.

I’m not gonna reveal the secrets of training. It’s copyrighted and the Big B has very good lawyers! I can describe to you what I have gone through this week.

My jet lag stuffed me up. I barely slept the first few days. I was wired, excited and running on that energy. 400 excited people whip up some awesome energy alone. The yoga room is amazing, HUGE and of course f&^%ing hot. Never, never will I ever complain that a studio is hot. You are soaking wet before you even stand up for the breathing. It’s been the least of my worries, the heat has not actually bothered me. In saying that no one is moaning about the heat really. Fatigue has been my dagger. That is what has brought me to my knees quite a lot this week. That & probably malnutrition!

People who have practiced with me in Joondy would be shocked. My cast iron determination and focus went to shit the first few classes. I was actually being my own worse nightmare, a fussy, fidgety mess in savasana, between postures and generally every chance I got. One class I was stuffing ice down my top and laying out small piles of ice around my towel to lie on!!!!! WTF! This is not me, this is also not normal practice. I have managed to pull it together the past day or so. I had one near normal practice with the Boss and one today. I’m not worried. I am taking all the advice and not killing myself early on. It is hard not too as the room is so hot I am finding kicking and stretching comes so much easier. People are dropping like flies. Big strong men being carried out of the room. There has been puking, lots of puking. No crying as yet. This is just the start.

Oh boy food. We are blessed to have a fridge but cooking in the room is illegal. I got round it ;-) I’ve been getting my protein in and some veg. I found an awesome water boiling thing that can cook veg really quick. I have no interest in food. Nothing at all interests me. I am ramming food down when I’m not hungry because I have to, there is barely an hour to change, eat & get out the door. Even if I did really crave something I have no time to get it. This weekend we have all decided it’s steak and pizza on the menu for sure!!!

So far so good. Today, Friday, I felt like death all day but as soon as evening class is done I am alive. I love this yoga! This has been the pattern. Wacked all day, tough morning class, then some jazzed in the evening. My muscles are sore but they are holding in there. My throat is getting sore, a few people have this. Probably best not to be sharing ice with people out of the same container any more? We have been blessed with the evening off. The Boss is out of town & there isn’t anything they can do with us as 200 people still need to deliver Half Moon.

Kindness

You probably all know this has been a rough two weeks on the emotional roller coaster of the 60 Day challenge for me. I now have come to accept this is totally normal and part of the 'process.' With a total shift in my mind set I am feeling totally centred again now. All those hours wasted on being angry has left me right where I should be. Normal again. So really they weren't wasted hours, they were needed hours that now has made me realise I'm on the right track. 

There's nothing nicer when your feeling down to receive a little pick me up. Out of the blue this week I have been extremely grateful to be on the receiving end of other people's kindness. I'm not alone, people out there understand and know just what to do to get me back on the horse. 

The first act of kindness came from my yoga buddy J who has just completed a course in Reiki healing and Bach flower remedies. I had a mini healing session on my right knee that has been playing up a bit of late. I've not felt a twinge or niggle since! I was also given a special Bach potion to help combat my crazy emotions. It contains:

• Rockwater - self repression, denial, uptightness
• Gentian - Discouragement and despondency
• Olive - Complete exhaustion, positiveness
• Hornbeam - Monday morning feeling

I've had Monday morning feeling for the past two weeks! It took a lot of self control not to down the whole vile in one slug. I like alternative remedies and have been taking my drops as prescribed. I do believe it's helped me feel better.


Monday I was presented with a carton of Beyond coconut water from my studio director. This will hopefully keep me alive for the next two weeks. Mixed with the protein powder J also gave me it makes a great pre yoga snack before evening classes. 


Friday saw my five year anniversary with The Man. He surprised me at work with a delivery of 12 long stemmed pink roses, Moet and chocolates. WOW! Lucky girl. He's never done anything like this so being out the blue made it so much more special. I'll save the champagne for after the challenge when we'll hopefully get out of town for the night for some quality time before I jet off to LA.


Saturday my TT training buddy JJ (so many J friends I have!) gave me some home baked green tea cake and yummy sticky sesame snap like treats. She loves baking and gifting people with these tasty snacks. Such kindness. I'll be taking a lot of our eggs in next week for everyone. 

We both also were given  BYJ yoga mat for TT. It's been a hot topic of debate yoga mat's. I was planning on getting another Jade mat which is light weight and dries quick. Knowing full well it will be a stinky health hazard by the end of training and will be binned. Jade's cost $70, that's a lot. No worries we have our trusty bright red team BYJ mat's to see us through. It's cool we'll have a little piece of our home studio with us at training. I will just have to make sure it gets sprayed often with tee tree oil and water, or any antibac spray I can find in LA.

BYJ Yoga mat, tasty treats & Beyond

Roses and Champagne

Roses arranged at home

A little release

Even though I said I wasn't going to count the days in this challenge, I am at day 23. This is the point in the 30 day challenge when I started breaking down physically and mentally. Last week my life outside the yoga room was getting to me emtionally. My house was a hideous sh*t pit, I felt I was getting no help and was being bitched at for falling asleep the moment my arse hit the couch at 8pm. Funny that as I get up at 4:30am, do yoga, have an hour and 20 mins commute both ways to work, hold down a full time creative job that is demanding, cook dinner every night, clean up nearly every night, launder stinky sweaty clothes every night and unpack/repack kit bags every night. Am I moaning? Yes, I need a release. Done, I can move on.

I live this crazy schedule because I can and I want to. Some people might even envy me, others, mostly think I'm totally bonkers! I know this isn't forever. This is just part of my life right now. The challenge has to be done, for me it is the ultimate preparation for TT. I can discover things now that might go wrong with my body and find a cure for it or a prevention. I'm booked in for a well over due deep tissue massage today as my shoulders are so frozen I have to kick the penguins off every morning. I'm so looking forward to leaving the real world behind for nine weeks. It'll make me appreciate it so much more when I leave the yoga bubble.

My body is screaming at me for neglecting it. Yoga is healing but it stills needs complimenting with other toxin releases activities such as massage. I was told to push my hips more forward in Camel today. I thought I was...my hips feel like they are set in concrete. I've let my form slip in a few postures because I hurt, I'm a little tired and emotionally challenged. 

An instructor who I've not had for a few months was back today. We've both been away so our paths haven't crossed. I was called out a few well needed times. Picking out the small details I was slacking on. I was given a very helpful pep talk afterwards. I can't be slacking off, even though I'm tired and using the challenge as an excuse for backing off. It will be ten times as bad in September. (Rachel in Leicester pointed this out too) I was told I need to go into every class & imagine Bikram is teaching. He won't take any bullsh*t and in his not so polite manner will tell you so. It will reflect badly on my home studio if I'm asked where I come from and why haven't they taught me to do this correctly.

I am comfortable with my instructors as they are with me. Only the other day a friend and I were saying how we often get over looked in class because the newbies need attention. Very true, I don't want to deny newbies the attention they deserve. Us regulars don't want attention all the time but if we are left to our own devices we'll slip into bad habits. Which I have. We're getting a load of support and coaching for dialogue but I need it in the room too. A matter to be discussed. My practice is no way as strong as my training buddy but on the up side I've been told my dialogue, teaching technique and voice are strong. Training is as much about practice as it is learning to be a teacher. 

I'm an advocate for "lead by example" not a "do as I say, not as I do" person. If I want my future students to do well in their practice, I need to do well in my practice too. I always look up to the instructors who practice in class with me, I must be on form to do the same. I would hate for a student to think 'why should I listen to her bossing me about when I saw her in class the other day and she can't do it herself!" Ekk am I getting paranoid now?!

As I've said this challenge is supposed to get me in the zone, if I'm slacking off it's not fulfilling it's purpose. I need to re-focus and push through those mental and physical road blocks that we all know like to pop up from time to time.