I dare not say this but I will this week the ‘heating malfunction’ in the yoga room seem to be fixed. Obviously they had to cook our brains out to begin with to make us remember how tough this yoga is. Most of us will have forgotten how hard it is to struggle through a class. We need to be connected back with this feeling in order to show compassion for our future students.
It was positively breezy down in my neighbourhood area of the yoga room. It was nice. I made it through at least four classes without drinking and didn’t use my ice. No knees were taken & I can say I’m nearly doing my usual practice. I’m starting to feel stronger despite being totally wacked and resembling a sleep walker any time I’m not in the yoga room.
In the yoga room I refer to my ‘neighbourhood’ as the area I am spending a lot of time in. We had our assigned lines this week so we have to practice on a different line each day & move around the room. However, where on that line is up to you. I have been clinging to a certain ‘area’ and I’m not alone. I have a nice group of mat mates around me which is comforting in such horrific conditions. I did stray a few times to ‘the other side’ but soon came back. We have nice synergy in my hood & if your gonna have someone’s toes up your nose why not it be someone you know.
This week has been a bit weird for me. I am totally exhausted from the late night anatomy lectures, posture clinics and yoga. I hang my head in shame to say I fell asleep a few times during lecture. Dr P is amazing, entertaining & 98% chimp. I wanted to listen and be present but I’m useless at staying awake if I’m tired. I’ve realised all those International flights I’ve taken have left me a master in napping whilst sitting in a confined, hard, uncomfortable chair.
I am really focusing on trying to learn the rest of the dialogue I didn’t know before I came. My way of learning is to isolate. My roomie has been out practicing one on one with another friend which gave me the perfect excuse to stay home and do my thing alone. Which is great. I have ploughed on and learned three more postures this week. But now I need to be out there with people practicing. Everywhere you go there are groups of people doing dialogue & busting out postures. It’s not hard to gate crash a dialogue party. I really feel I need to be looking at bodies and learning how to ‘teach’ those bodies instead of just rattling out dialogue whilst staring blankly at them.
Ironic me saying that really as my feedback from posture clinics has been great. Friday night I was told I was teaching already and along with a couple of other trainees our delivery is more like what is expected in week 6/7 rather than week three. But…. The postures I delivered this week I have been presenting since July. I am confident with them and have practiced these at home with bodies. I even blasted out Standing bow at 11:40pm on Friday night without hesitation despite being half asleep because I knew it.
For the floor series I haven’t even put words to bodies yet and these are the postures I have finding the hardest to get down. I am also putting pressure on myself to keep up the high standard I have set. Then again, if I stumble it will show I’m only human. The best advice we have received this week is not to try and be perfect, aim to be precise. Stay out of our own heads it’s a dangerous neighbourhood!
All in all I’m staying as present as I can. One day, one class, one hour at a time. Emotionally I’m fine. I have detached as much as possible from the outside world & be submerged in the ‘process.’ I have The Man to thank a lot for not letting me become a clingy dependent partner before I left. We have had plenty of practice at me being overseas for periods of time and are comfortable with being away from each other. It’s only another seven weeks. That’s nothing, especially if we end up spending the next forty years together! I can spend everyday with him when I get back, I only get to do Teacher Training ONCE & that time in NOW.
I have come to the conclusion that being 100% happy with myself and the direction I am taking is helping me stay strong here. To quote Paul and Jaylee Balch, “you can’t rely on someone else to make you happy as the moment that person leaves they take your happiness with them. You are responsible for your own happiness.”
|Trader Joe's = yummy ready packed treats|
|Saturday lunch car boot picnic outside the Laundromat!|
|On our way to the beach, Sunday freedom!|