It struck me yesterday I have been in a dry spell i.e. I have not cried for over 8 months now!!! That is nearly a whole year. I'm not sure if this is something to be proud or ashamed of. Today I just read this beautifully written post by Rachel at Alive in the Fire and it got me thinking about it again.
I clearly remember the last day I cried. June 17th 2011, the departure gates at Manchester airport, UK. I said good bye to both my parents not knowing when I would see them again. My trips to my country of origin are often like this, not knowing when I'll be back. Could be a few months or could be years. Who knows. If that doesn't get the water works going then what would?! So I was all snot and tissues whilst lining up to go through the security scanner, clear plastic bag of my 100ml or less liquids in hand, shiny new Australian passport in the other.
That was it, my last crying moment. I have no idea why I haven't cried since. Heck I have been through a lot since then. Mainly nine weeks of BYTT. Every other person there was crying at some point every hour (hmm maybe make that ten minutes). Even when class mates had breakthroughs in dialogues or were reunited with their loved one I still didn't shed a drop of water to join them. Yeah I was super emotional for them but just couldn't cry.
There was a time, only a few years ago, I probably was crying on a daily basis because of one thing or another. So I must not be that emotionally retarded??!! I just do not have an answer for this dry spell. My frustrations are not coming to the surface in liquid form these days. Maybe I have a blockage somewhere & the result is blocked tear ducts? Who knows. Maybe I just don't need to express myself by crying any more. Maybe I'm just in a content, happy place with no need for tears. I should embrace this dry spell, not worry about it & one day I might cry again....