Realisations!

I seem to be on a blog roll this week. Maybe I have a lot of venting to do. I'm the sort of person who takes things to heart and can be known to dwell on stuff. After my post about Tuesday's pep talk I've been thinking more deeply about what I wrote. I still stand by my view of 'leading by example' but I have come to realise this can be interpreted in another way too. Rather than getting hung up on just trying to be the best I can and setting a good example to other students, ie. trying to be perfect all the time. I've come to the conclusion I can still set a good example without trying to be 'perfect.' After all perfection is the end of the road, no one can grow anymore once they reach it.

My future TT roomie and I have been chatting a lot for the past few months via email. It still amazes me how much we have in common, besides yoga & food, yet we have never met and live on different continents. I received a great mail from her today on the above subject. This is one of the reasons I have changed my direction of thinking. I now can take on board it is okay to have a bad yoga day, sit down, take it easy. I knew this already but lost focus. This is being honest about your practice. I'm not saying I'm gonna start hitting the floor when it all gets too hard, I've never done that, I've always tried but I have sat down when needs be. 

I was having a rough day in practice on Tuesday. I wasn't myself inside or out. Just happened this was picked up on but not explained. Funny how you get noticed when you don't want to be!

To set a good example I feel now is to show you are human and real too. Yes, set a good example by trying every posture correctly but now I realise if I'm seen to have hard day that is okay. Maybe this will reassure students that it's cool, we all have off days. We are not some goddesses that are indestructible, we all have off days. Maybe it's a good example to just be there in class trying.

Another friend I spoke to about this also suggested I don't kill myself before training. Yes try hard and don't get sloppy but save the killing till Bikram is actually there in front of me. I can't risk burning out or getting injured now. I must remember to stay honest and I'm allowed a bad day now and again. 

It's so awesome that a lot of the trainee's are bonding through social networking. A few have voiced their fears and frustrations to realise there are others out there with the same fears and worries. We are all facing the same challenge and have been there for each other already to give advice and share experiences. I can't wait to get there and meet them all. I have a good feeling we'll have a strong group and not have too many 'yahoo's' who might not be 100% committed to the cause. I'm clinging to the hope if we are all good little yogis, do our homework, listen attentively, practice honestly without drama, stay up till 4am without whining we might get not so many late nights or should I say early morning finishes...I can dream can't I?

Perfection or Progression?

So much for leisurely lie in's this public holiday. Monday morning and I was wide awake at 5am, only 20 minutes longer than I would be if it was a work day with 5:45am yoga! I think I am well rested and relaxed enough now that I don't need the extra sleep. Another positive effect of my Bikram practice. This leaves more time to hydrate & eat before the 9am class. And catch up on some writing.

I read some very inspirational words last week from J over at Lock the Knee. The post highlighted our desire to be perfect. J beautifully pointed out a down side to this:   

"Here's one thing about perfect: you have no place to go. You can't get any feedback. You're dead in the water, no place to swim"  

You've reached the peak, you can't get better than perfect and where to go next? Later in the post is a quote from on of J's student; 

"if you think you're "perfect," if you're always "doing it right," then you can't learn, but if you're just "practicing," then you can keep adjusting and taking in new information"

We are always being told yoga practice is a journey and 'it's yoga practice, not yoga perfect.' These quotes reiterate this theory. I couldn't think of anything worse than this journey ending. You've mastered all 26 postures that's it your done, you no longer can do this. I can safely say that will never happen! Every day if so different, you may pull of a near 'perfect' posture today but then tomorrow not come close. 

Instead of getting hung up over being perfect I will enjoy and relish the slow progression I am making in postures. This may be a contradiction now but if I didn't have a focus or an aim I'd just be going through the motions. I need to set targets or I don't push myself hard enough. I need that inner voice telling me I'm close and I can go that inch further. But not towards perfection, just the natural progress.